Just Do (Again)

"
Dear Eva,

It will be almost a month since you

wrote

to me and you have possibly

forgotten

your state of mind (I doubt it though).
You seem the same as always, and being you,


hate

every minute of it.

Don't !

 Learn to

say ''Fuck You''

to the world once in a while. You have every right to.

Just stop

thinking,
worrying,

looking over your shoulder wondering,

  • doubting,
  • fearing,
  • hurting,

    • hoping for some easy way out,

  • struggling,

  • grasping,

  • confusing,

  • itching,

  • scratching,
  • mumbling,
  • bumbling,

  • grumbling,

  • humbling,

  • stumbling,

  • numbling,

  • rumbling,

  • gambling,

  • tumbling,

  • scumbling,
  • scrambling,
  • hitching,

  • hatching,

  • bitching,

  • moaning,

  • groaning,

  • honing,

  • boning,

  • horse-shitting,

  • hair-splitting,
  • nit-picking,
  • piss-trickling,

  • nose sticking,

  • ass-gouging,

  • eyeball-poking,

  • finger-pointing,

  • alleyway-sneaking,

  • long waiting,

  • small stepping,

  • evil-eyeing,
  • back-scratching,
  • searching,

  • perching,

  • besmirching,

  • grinding,

  • grinding,

  • grinding away at yourself.


    • Stop it and

    just DO!



    From your description,
    and from what I know of your previous work and your [sic] ability;
    the work you are doing sounds very good
    ''Drawing-clean-clear but crazy like machines, larger and bolder... real nonsense.''
    That sounds fine, wonderful ... real nonsense.


    Do more.

    Morenonsensical, more crazy, more machines,

    more breasts,

    penises,

    cunts,

    whatever ... make them abound with nonsense.
    Try and tickle something inside you, your ''weird humor.''

    You

    belong in the most secret part of you.
    Don't worry about cool, make your own uncool.

    Make your own, your own world.

    If you fear, make it work for you draw & paint your fear and anxiety.
    And stop worrying about big, deep things such as


    ''to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistant [sic] approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end''

    You must practice being

  • stupid,
  • dumb,
  • unthinking,
  • empty.


    • Then you will be able to DO!

    I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good. Try to do some


    bad work.

    The worst you can think of and see what happens
    but mainly relax and let everything go to hell
    ... you are not responsible for the world ...
    you are only responsible for your work


    so



    DO,



    IT.



    And don't think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea or flavor. It can be

    a n y t h i ng


    you want it to be.

    But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working ... then stop.

    Don't punish yourself.


    However,


    I think that it is so deeply engrained in you that it would be easier to DO!

    - Sol

    "